Thanks for asking. The most important change my husband has made is being honest and open with me. In the past he would lie, sometimes about the stupidest things. He doesn't like confrontation and worried about my reaction to things so he would either outright lie or lie by omission. I knew he was lying but I let it slide over and over again. Since D-day I've demanded complete honesty. He's done an amazing job. There have been a handful of times I've caught him lying by omission but when confronted he admits his mistake. I've also been working on my reaction so when he tells me things that make me angry or upset I don't lash out making him feel safe to be honest with me.
That leads me to another change. I can probably count on one hand how many times my husband admitted he was wrong and actually said he was sorry before D-day. Since then he will ask for forgiveness and really mean it. He'll listen to how his actions have hurt me and say he's sorry.
He's also less defensive and definitely less angry. I see him struggle with this a lot and know that it's been difficult for him to control but he's done an amazing job. He used to lash out a lot. Now, rarely.
My husband also cherishes me and our marriage in a way he never did before. Before D-day I rarely felt that I was important to him. I believed his job was more important to him than anything else. His family, the kids, even the dogs seemed to be higher on his list of priorities than I was. Since D-day he's tried to show me that I'm top of his list. He doesn't always succeed but at least now I feel that I'm important to him.
We're still a work in progress but both of us are working hard to improve ourselves and our marriage. I wish it hadn't taken the devastation of an affair to open our eyes to the preciousness of our relationship. We should have put each other first long ago.
Thanks for asking. The most
Thanks for asking. The most important change my husband has made is being honest and open with me. In the past he would lie, sometimes about the stupidest things. He doesn't like confrontation and worried about my reaction to things so he would either outright lie or lie by omission. I knew he was lying but I let it slide over and over again. Since D-day I've demanded complete honesty. He's done an amazing job. There have been a handful of times I've caught him lying by omission but when confronted he admits his mistake. I've also been working on my reaction so when he tells me things that make me angry or upset I don't lash out making him feel safe to be honest with me.
That leads me to another change. I can probably count on one hand how many times my husband admitted he was wrong and actually said he was sorry before D-day. Since then he will ask for forgiveness and really mean it. He'll listen to how his actions have hurt me and say he's sorry.
He's also less defensive and definitely less angry. I see him struggle with this a lot and know that it's been difficult for him to control but he's done an amazing job. He used to lash out a lot. Now, rarely.
My husband also cherishes me and our marriage in a way he never did before. Before D-day I rarely felt that I was important to him. I believed his job was more important to him than anything else. His family, the kids, even the dogs seemed to be higher on his list of priorities than I was. Since D-day he's tried to show me that I'm top of his list. He doesn't always succeed but at least now I feel that I'm important to him.
We're still a work in progress but both of us are working hard to improve ourselves and our marriage. I wish it hadn't taken the devastation of an affair to open our eyes to the preciousness of our relationship. We should have put each other first long ago.
Lisa