Samuel, not sure exactly what my world view is? I grew up in rural Pennsylvania, both parents are alive and still married to each other. I joined the Army at 18 and still serving 27+ years later. Always seen as the fixer and strong. My issue is I am in a living hell within my own brain. Ever since I was busted and came to terms that I am a sex addict, all I thin about is the pain I caused and not those women. She asked me if I loved any of them,I gave some real thought and its a NO. I was in love with getting my fix to try and satisfy myself and it grew from online porn to meeting one for real and having oral sex. She doesnt believe me, but I never went all the way with anyone, but I am sure I would of if I didnt get caught. I thank God I was busted. I put so much of specific things I did out of my head, but that makes her mad. Now there have been some coincidences that looks like I am contacting the APs and I have not been. This is causing her blood pressure to be high and not healthy. There are many days that I want to find a hole and stay in it or not wake up at all. I am scared, because the migraines are getting worse and nothing I say is worthwhile these days cause of all I have destroyed. I pray I can fix the finances.
I can't focus or concentrate on things and I forget things, not on purpose. I feel I am rambling now.
I don't know what to do??
My world view
Samuel, not sure exactly what my world view is? I grew up in rural Pennsylvania, both parents are alive and still married to each other. I joined the Army at 18 and still serving 27+ years later. Always seen as the fixer and strong. My issue is I am in a living hell within my own brain. Ever since I was busted and came to terms that I am a sex addict, all I thin about is the pain I caused and not those women. She asked me if I loved any of them,I gave some real thought and its a NO. I was in love with getting my fix to try and satisfy myself and it grew from online porn to meeting one for real and having oral sex. She doesnt believe me, but I never went all the way with anyone, but I am sure I would of if I didnt get caught. I thank God I was busted. I put so much of specific things I did out of my head, but that makes her mad. Now there have been some coincidences that looks like I am contacting the APs and I have not been. This is causing her blood pressure to be high and not healthy. There are many days that I want to find a hole and stay in it or not wake up at all. I am scared, because the migraines are getting worse and nothing I say is worthwhile these days cause of all I have destroyed. I pray I can fix the finances.
I can't focus or concentrate on things and I forget things, not on purpose. I feel I am rambling now.
I don't know what to do??