Q&A Am I Wrong in My Thinking?

I am 3 years from the first D-Day and 1 year from the last proven contact in a second affair. The last contact I saw was open ended from both men. In other words there was no sign of, "I am done leave me alone". I am taking HH now as well as EMDR and weekly counseling. I am really turning corner on taking care of me thus the boundary. My wife is doing some counseling but she will not have anything to do with Affair Recovery. I carry guilt very easily due to my father’s alcoholism as a kid. So when my wife is constantly telling me that I am obsessed with her affair, I am destroying our family and need to just let it go. I question this boundary constantly to the point of just giving in and hoping nothing will ever come up again. I know now that if the skeleton rattles to the front of closet 5 to 10 years from now, meaning old information.. This stuff starts completely over.