My husband had an emotional affair with a coworker that eventually turned physical. He told me that the affair wasn’t tawdry and the sex didn’t feel naughty or exciting that way. He describes their relationship as a deep bond (in fact, they are still together). He told me that before discovery, they would meet in hotel rooms for physical intimacy, but they were both full of anxiety and afraid of getting caught. Can you explain why they might feel the need to have sex if they were full of anxiety about it, even during the act? Is this love or more of a kind of neediness?