I feel like I've missed the opportunity to get disclosure. When I discovered the details of his affair (two years after I forced the end of their "inappropriate friendship"), he talked me into staying. I had conditions, and one of them was therapy. It was a sticking point and we agreed to place it on the back burner... and he has done a tremendous job of being understanding and "good" ... and really growing (slowly). But now that we are approaching one year from when I found the details, I am struggling with the conflict of keeping the good we have now versus my need to know the truth (and not just the ugly details). I don't know when the affair started and I don't know if this was the first time. It makes a big difference to me to know the kind of man he is (and whether the major changes we had to make in our previously great lives were somehow related to an earlier transgression that necessitated the change). I'm confident that he's behaving now and I know he's treating me right... but really don't feel safe going forward, yet, for fear that the monster he became during the affair will reappear.