We have been together for 30 years since we were 17. Prior to D-day I had no idea that when my wife was 11-14 her father would come into her room and sexually abuse her. She said there was never any intercourse but there was touching, feeling and kissing inappropriately. It also happened with her older sister. Her father was an alcoholic, verbally abusive and there was infidelity in her parent’s marriage. She hated him and couldn't stand the things he was doing to her, the family and her mother. There have been 9 different times she has cheated in our relationship. It started three months after committing to one another with a one night stand, throughout our living together, all throughout our marriage right up to this past long-term emotional and physical affair that lasted for 18 months. I knew none of this except for one affair she had with my best friend right before we got married. I found out about the abuse, all the rest of the affairs and one nighters over this past year. She realizes she has a problem and is thankful she found AR and Hope for Healing. One of my questions is how can someone hate the things that her father did but yet do some of those same things (not the sexual abusing of children) to her husband and family? I know there are absolutely no excuses for the infidelity but does her past abuse have anything to do with why she did what she did to me?