My first D-day was about a month ago, shutting my husband’s alarm off on his phone and finding a picture of them in bed together. He said he wanted to work on us but his actions are very different. Avoiding, anger shaming me. Lots of even more hurtful stuff said in between. He keeps saying how fun she is and gets him. I’m not “fun” now and I don’t understand how he could expect me to be after dragging me through the mud (as all our customers we’re concerned about this before I even knew) I’ve had lots of triggers and nightmares up to this point. I’ve been trying to read and watch everything I can get my hands on to try and heal. Yesterday was my second D-day when I put his phone on the charger, a text come though from her as a response but all the other text are deleted. I was angry and so hurt! Up until this point we were trying to still live together and I thought working on us. I finally ask him to leave for a bit so we can work stuff out. Last night was my first night alone with the kids and it was really hard! Lots of feels of not good enough and fear of the unknown. How could my person do this to me and do it again? How do I deal with idea that there’s a good chance he’s not coming back? And grieving the loss of what I thought I had?