Just to start, my husband is a wonderful father. During the time I’m about to describe we discovered through marriage counseling that he was going through a depression at the time of his affair. I have forgiven my husband for actual affair. What I am struggling to let go of is him ruining my memories of my only healthy pregnancy. My first was so hard I didn’t think I’d ever get pregnant again. 6 months later we unexpectedly got pregnant with our second. I was so excited to have a do over and even better that the baby and I were healthy. My husband’s affair started when I was 7 months pregnant and continued well past his birth. He was so distant and angry during my pregnancy and referred to our baby as a mistake. My son’s 2nd birthday is coming up and the thought of celebrating is so painful. It reminds me of how distant he was when I was in the hospital and how I had to beg him just to hold our son. How do I let go of that?