I have worked my tail off trying to save my marriage. My wife's history is filled with being involved with unavailable men and continued through our marriage. In October of 2015 I caught her in another affair and she acted like we haven't been through this before. We worked with therapist in the past and everything we worked on in the past was all lies that I forgave her for. I could never understand why she never showed empathy and she said it's because she has too much shame. She can't tell the truth and uses gas lighting, word salad, and triangulation and has flying monkeys that attack me and never sticks up for me. Our therapist told me she is a covert narcissist and I can't disclose that to her or I will pay the price. I haven't heard much about dealing with this type of person on affair recovery. I'm in harboring Hope and the assignments don’t really seem to help me. My wife is in hope for healing and it just seems to be making it worse since she is just getting filled with admiration and justifications. She isn't addressing the affairs but says she is changing and feels she is a better person and I need to forgive her. My question is, is working on the pain of betrayal and reconciliation even possible when you are dealing with a covert narcissist? Is the process different when you are dealing with someone that can't love the same and has no empathy? Can I ever compete with the fantasies?