I am in Harboring Hope and just finished Chapter 3. I am 15 months out and I have spent most of it trying to understand what and why. This chapter left me more confused. He could be a little of everything or none of them. At the center was selfishness, emotional numbness and a lack of comprehension! Is there a “sex attitudes damaged by an event affairs?” He was seduced by his favorite Aunt at 19. She had been like a mother to him since his own was cold and treated him like he was not good enough. He then married young and the marriage proved sexless, so he began saying yes to opportunities for sex outside the marriage with minimal guilt. They were just sex objects. 6 years later, he is divorcing, meets me and thinks I am the answer to his prayers, yet on the eve of moving in with me, his friend’s mother comes on to him, he says yes. He was 30, she was 60 and I never entered his thoughts. He does not fit the addict, since he had long periods of abstinence. Nothing about the affair partner mattered, they just had to ask. He was an opportunist or gigilo. Sometime I think his Aunt damaged him, and other times I think he was just a selfish, immoral man - is there a 7th type? Learned sex all wrong? I will add, he is a changed man. Quickly and dramatically. Loving, caring and I want to forgive him.