My H AP was not married but living with another man. When I found out about the affair I called the AP and told her to stop all contact. My H called her the next day and told her also. (He probably told her to hold on until he got things sorted out - LOL) She told her boyfriend that she was no longer allowed to come into our office (H is a doctor!). Then she said she wasn't supposed to contact H because I thought they had an affair but that they didn't. She also told boyfriend that she had loaned my H a movie and that she would like to have it back. The boyfriend texted H and said this was all stupid and was there anything that could be said to his wife (me) so that AP could still come into the office. And that she would like the movie back.

I was monitoring H's cell phone and saw this phone number and asked who it was - he told me and let me read the text. I went into the house and called him. Boyfriend told me that there was nothing going on and that I blew the texting out of context as she texts everyone. I told him that I had the records and that my H who never texts anyone (i.e., only 5 texts a month vs 5,000 in a month with her) and that is indication that there is something going on. He didn't believe me and I said that when I get the texts all downloaded I will let him know. Well...the texts proved the affair. I copied them and sent them to him.

This did not benefit me at all. I ended up with sanctions.

so...do you contact? I don't know. I know another woman who has a civil suit against her for trying to contact the husband of the AP and the AP confronted her first - then called the cops on her. She is a teacher and might lose her teaching certificate. It is hard to think of what you might lose by further contact.