I am in Harboring Hope, EMS Online, and my husband begins Hope for Healing soon. He is a sex addict and what one might call an emotional anorexic. As we go through these programs he seems to be learning new vocabulary to justify his behaviors. I understand that part of the process will be for him to learn about himself but it is so difficult for me. I am struggling with resentment as he comes to me with what I feel are $50 words for his betrayals. He continues to respond defensively yet I am supposed to remain calm and full of grace? After 24 years of being discarded by him, I am finding it hard to be present. Our current situation is me voicing a concern and referencing a recent betrayal. He becomes defensive and floods. Then he goes into monologue about all the reasons why he acts this way and all the things he is doing. Even when I say I need to stop the conversation, he continues. We never get back to the original topic and I am left with my questions unanswered. I don't know how to handle this. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.