Q&A Why Do I Feel The Way That I Do?

9 years ago my husband had an emotional/physical affair and at the time he thought he loved her. He wanted to keep us both (he told her). I guess he came out if his “fog” and decided he wanted to work on his marriage so he broke off the physical affair but he kept the friendship until D-Day when he confessed the affair. He also took a job and moved away for 7 months. It has been a horrible, painful number of years. I struggled to still love him and honor my commitment to him. At D-Day, I realized he had put me through so much pain and never honored his commitment to me. I just feel tired. Sometimes, I feel like it is not worth the time and effort to try and repair this marriage. He is also a sex addict and was exposed to porn as a young child and used porn to act out for most of our marriage. My husband wants to repair our marriage. He is remorseful and has taken responsibility. Do you think I feel the way I do (tired, ambivalent) because the affair happened years ago? Or is it a reflection of being at the 7 month mark? I just feel like a fool - what is wrong with me that I am trying to work out what seems like a hopeless relationship with someone who was capable of hurting me so much for so long?