My husband has spent the last twelve years avoiding dealing with his adultery, wanting to have a clean slate, and pretending it didn't happen. I have done a lot of healing work without him. As you can imagine, reconciliation has not occurred and trust has not been rebuilt. Finally, he has agreed to do Hope for Healing, while I do Harboring Hope. He is five or more weeks into his sessions and has not said a single word to me about it. Does the course for the offended ever encourage him to reconcile with me or make things right? Is it all about introspection and discovering your heart condition? Is it mostly self-discovery? Should I expect him to initiate and lead in the healing of the marriage relationship? Is it possible to go through Hope for Healing and never have an empathetic conversation or risk emotional intimacy with your betrayed spouse? Since he believes in a complementarian theology with maybe an unhealthy leaning toward patriarchal theology I am trying to wait for his leading. Based on everything I'm seeing in Affair Recovery videos, I feel he should be initiating conversation with me by now. I'm trying not to sabotage his efforts by demanding he move along faster, yet, I think he should be showing some desire to reengage on a deeper level. He is still only engaging on a shallow level.