Rick,
Could you speak a little about the "sins of the fathers"? My husband's father left his family due to an emotional affair when my husband was young for 8 years. He still lived in the same town, but was not a part of their day to day lives. These years included his middle school years...a very formative time for a young boy. His father returned to his family and although no one ever really talked about it, his parents are still together today. He and his father do not have much of a relationship to this day.

Somehow I always thought that because my husband experienced this that he would be more sensitive and would NEVER do the same thing to me. Yet here we are after 15 years of marriage and he had an emotional affair with a co-worker that included kissing and "I love you"s. My husband has ended the affair and has not moved out and we are working on our recovery. I am grateful for this.

I wonder if the poor example of his father as a husband is where he "learned" this behavior. I also feel that my husband has never mourned for the boy he was and the father he lost. I also wonder if the river of emotions is blocked by not dealing with his past. There is such a connection here and yet, between me, my husband, and his therapist, I feel I am the only one who sees it!!! What are your thoughts?