My husband struggles with sex/love addiction stemming from attachment issues during childhood (a void he tried to fill with romance). D-Day was after we began a family. I am painfully aware of how bad divorce is for children. Living together as a nuclear family is not the same as periodic visitation. We are trying everything to avoid that outcome. But surely it can’t be healthy to grow up with such profound emotional, sexual, and psychological dysfunction under the surface, even if it’s never explicitly addressed with the children. The best way out are healthy individuals and a healthy marriage, but I'm not sure if my husband is fully committed to do the work on himself necessary to get there, in part because he doesn’t see why he has to go through all that pain if we can have a good family going forward. We do believe what you’ve said about pain that’s not transformed will be transmitted. Can you please explain how the pain of sex and love addiction can be transmitted to children if it’s not transformed? Does it matter if the addict is trying to break the cycle by forming a strong attachment with his children? Or do his root issues really need to be addressed for effective parenting? If so, can you explain why? It would help us both to understand this more specifically. Thank you.