For years I have felt like I have always had a connection to my first love. He was my first love, first serious boyfriend, and first sexual partner. He was also someone I reached out to multiple times (3 total times - a total of maybe 7 months) throughout my acting out period. I also had a moment where I didn’t reach out but felt the need to call him - and found out later he was actually very sick in the hospital at that time. I am married and love my husband with all my heart - is this connection normal? My husband is very concerned I could relapse with this person. I don’t want to - and am working on myself to prevent relapses.