I started IC about a month after I found out and started MC about a month after that. My wife went to a few sessions and then decided she didn’t want or need to go. Her explanation to me was “I don’t know what I want, so why get counseling?”. This led to frustration and more resentment from me. After many failed attempts to get her to attend MC and her continuing to going out and not coming back at night, I finally confronted her about my frustrations. This turned into a huge argument which led to me leaving and establishing a no contact with her. I cut her phone off, as advised by counselors, and didn’t reach out to her. She eventually reached out to me to request a divorce and also packed all of my belongings to give back to me. We have not spoken more than a few words to each other since and it is ripping me apart. I understand that “pulling back” is a strategy in trying to wake up ambivalent spouses, but I can’t help but think I may have gone too far? I love her with all my heart and I miss her terribly. I am enrolled in Harboring Hope and look forward to the course, but how do I stop thinking of my wife? Do I have to get over her at this point?