Rick - thank you for these videos. I hope you appreciate how helpful they are. We are on lesson 3 of EMSO and my question is: Can you please say more about your statement that in the course of infidelity "the unfaithful partner has first betrayed themselves"? My wife felt hurt and rejected by me, and rather than give me a chance to address what she was feeling, she chose deception and actively went looking for an affair, which she then carried on for several months with a mountain of lies and complicated logistical planning. During the affair when I tried to reconnect with her, she actively kept me a bay. She made no effort to try to stop until she got caught. How do you see it that this is not someone expressing themselves to the fullest? What has gotten through to her to work on changing herself has only been that she has had to face consequences. This seems so different than a moral or compassionate nature or concern for me as a person. I know that she betrayed our family and our promises, and I know she betrayed who she WISHES she were as a person, but this seems quite different than betraying her true nature.