Hi Rick, I am the betrayed spouse. We are 7 months past DDay. Strangely, I am the one wanting intimacy and sex. She does not. I can't even touch her. She is working tirelessly on her recovery and trying to figure out why she doesn't want to have sex. She hasn't wanted to have sex with me for the past 14 years. We used to have sex before the betrayal, but it was only one sided. She only did it because she felt it was her obligation to the marriage. She says she should be the one in control of her body. And I agree. She feels there is something wrong with me because every time we used to touch I felt like it had to lead to sex. And I did and still do. She arouses me when we touch. Heck, she arouses me when she walks by. I can't help the feeling and don't think there's anything wrong with them. I think that's the way marriage should be. I realize being only 7 months in recovery, that it's too early to start sex. I just want to talk thru it and find out why for 14 years she didn't want to have sex with me. I made a suggestion that in the future, the next time I want sex and she doesn't, she should ask for a rain check but limit it to 24 hours. That would give us both something to look forward to. What do you think?