I had a lot of struggles with the Restoring Intimacy lesson in EMS Online. As a man, I feel like what I'm hearing is "give up on your dreams" "your wants are not realistic, you'll never have them, change them". By that I mean, if my ideal sex life would be often 3-5 times a week and that my wife would be into me often and participate from a place of wanting to but not an obligation, it seems like that ideal seems unrealistic based on the course's info.

So what this makes me feel like it is saying, women don't think about sex as much as men do, women won't keep up that often. She sacrifices a lot for you, so just be happy with what you can get.

I don't know how to make this work in my head. If I have a ultimate ideal of an amazing sex life looking a certain way, but that ideal is now told me that it is not realistic in terms of frequency and intent.

Do I just give up on my dreams of what a happy sex life could be? How do I feel like I’m in an ideal marriage if this area is not being achieved ideally to me?