My sons are 12 and 16 and know, in general terms, why their father and I are separated. My husband hasn't broken it off with his AP and I am not sure how our marriage will end up. My sons are not acting out emotionally, but their grades have dropped significantly - going from A's and B's to failing several classes. Occasionally they will let me know that the situation bothers them. My husband and I do not speak ill of each other to our children. I know that the separation is affecting them. Neither wants to attend counseling, but I'd like for them to go once or twice. My oldest is more reluctant and says he doesn't want to talk to someone he doesn't know. Do I require that they attend at least once? How can I best support my children during this time of uncertainty?