Rick our relationship is a "both" and it hurt me to know that my wife has had emotional affairs with people that I know and she has been physical with them .I asked God to allow me to let it go but I can't stop having intrusive thoughts of who they might be. I want to just send a mass text out to my friends and tell them I don't want any contact with them anymore But at the same time I don't want to play the victim. I want to focus on my recovery and help my wife in her recovery and move forward but it hurts to feel this way. She has just expressed that she felt shame for the first time since lettering me know about her affair. I don't know what to do. I even had intrusive thoughts about her having sex with someone this morning and a part of me feels that this is exactly how she felt when she discovered my affair. I didn't know how much pain this would cause but it's getting hard to continue being in the role of the unfaithful when I also have been betrayed and not just by my wife but by others around me. I'm extremely hurt and I need some insight on what could be done.