How do I deal with knowing that I was once the object of my husband's greatest most intense feelings? I know, and he says he knows that NOW, but the feelings were never really, but he felt them for real, can remember how intoxicating they were and now natural the "love" was.... choices were made on them. . I valued my place in that tremendously. I was special in many ways that are just gone. He will not "do anything" to save us because it's not responsible. That just kills more. We have done EMS and are in married for life and have counselors. How can he help me with this loss?