Hi Rick Seven months out from discovery and I (the unfaithful) am having some real trouble providing empathy to my wife. I appreciate that my actions (a three year affair, verbal abuse and emotional abuse to name but a few) have left my wife a broken shell of her former self. I understand the need as the infidel to provide support and comfort when there are triggers yet my default position seems to be one of coldness, unsympathetic actions and further destruction of an already damaged relationship. What steps can I take to let my wife know that I am trying to get a grip on how to provide empathy to her and how do I put this into action? I have read some of the blogs and watched some of the videos on the AR site yet nothing seems to shift. Many thanks.