How do you deal with a partner that doesn't give you their passwords and doesn't volunteer information proactively? I have been asking for these two things for months: passwords and him telling me proactively about affair partner’s contacting him, rather than waiting for me to ask. When I do ask, I get answers or the invitation to look at his phone reluctantly, and sometimes he gets defensive about it. Even after he says I can have his passwords, he still doesn't actually give them to me. It's like he is waiting for me to shake them out of him. We just finished EMSO and our recovery was going very well so far, but these 2 points are an obstacle and I am tired of having to take the initiative and him dragging his feet about it.