I had an emotional affair for 3 years without telling my husband and it has devastated him. It’s been 19 months since D-day. I have become completely transparent with him, giving him full access to everything. However, there are missing messages in FB so he feels he doesn’t have complete story. This coupled with me loaning money to my sister for work she never did and sharing with her some things about my husband has him feeling like our entire 20 year marriage is a sham.

I’ve cut contact with the AP and read books my husband wanted to read about Sex Addiction, but I do not believe I have sex addiction because I have been sexually faithful to him for 21 years. The nuggets I got from the book were that I need God, and I have to have boundaries.

We have gone to counseling, EMS Weekend, marriage counseling, read the websites, and read books. My husband says this is not enough. He does not see any change in me.

Question: I have tried to call my but she has not returned my call. When we go to our marriage counselor, my husband says very little and it becomes an individual session. My husband has not asked me how my day was for the last 2 weeks for me to share anything that I have learned. He will come in and say a few words, but nothing about feelings or wanting to talk. There is very little physical contact. What is the best way to open up dialogue with him in order to progress to a better marriage? I am committed to our marriage and I need to have productive ways to talk with him. Thoughts?