I am struggling with the idea that my husband says he was "in love" with his affair partner. She and her husband were close friends of ours for many years and she and my husband worked together. They had long conversations and lots in common, but their behavior does not line up with what I see as love. Their time together was self-serving and wrong, but he says he can't think of any other word to describe the way he felt for her. He does not believe it was limerence or chemical responses in his brain. I can no longer say or hear him say "love" about our relationship if he believes that is what he felt for her. Please help me to see if this could truly have been love or if he has just not woken up to the idea it wasn't. He claims he wants to work things out and is trying but it hurts that he would use the same word to describe his feelings for both relationships. We have been married 16 years and been through so much together, how can that possibly be expressed with the same word?