Can you provide direction on practical exercises or ways to overcome Shame for both the unfaithful and betrayed spouse? I am the betrayed spouse and this is my spouse's second affair (Both D-Days were 11 years apart). The first affair was not addressed honestly or empathically due to my spouse's shame and him not realizing how to overcome that. Now he has chosen an honest full disclosure and that has helped release shame. As the betrayed spouse, I am struggling with how to release ascribed shame about his two affairs despite how he is choosing to handle the second one, which is allowing me to heal with him and reconcile. I never expected to still be around if another affair occurred and here I am and I don't know how to communicate my spouse's change and the reconciliation that has occurred, to the few that know our story without feeling shame. My ascribed shame makes me reluctant to discuss him or unpublicly for fear of who may know of the affairs.