What do I do if we both know that he affaired up, not down? The affair partner is a college educated, world traveler. She is way younger. She has a happy personality, excited about life, and of course, my husband. She is a good listener, good business skills, computer savvy, organizer, good itinerary planner for fun things to do. She has a good taste in clothes and bought him many fine pieces for work. Knowledge of how to do well in government work. Well bred. Enjoyed travel. And, she adored him. The only down sides were that she was immoral and he said I WAS prettier. So there it is. So what do I do with that hot mess. How do I heal my self esteem?