Dear Rick, in week 7 you gave examples of massage and sex as how not to try to please a spouse but suggested that in each instance the person should choose to enjoy themselves. Those examples confused us when coupled with the "Dying to Self" verbiage found earlier in the lesson. Let's take a less intimate subject like becoming vegetarian. If my spouse wants the family to become vegetarian and I completely disagree but she continues, how does the concept of enjoyment vs pleasing play out? In general, how does the concept work in strong disagreements like how to raise kids, spend money, having a family member live with you, etc...? I can enjoy myself in my choices all along but that doesn't mean the other person is enjoying it at all. And if pleasing them is not the point, how will I or they ever change or find a middle ground in some very strong subjects? Btw, the concept of not pleasing is great as there's great freedom as we realize we can never get out what we put in and we are not responsible for the other being pleased. It's just a bit confusing.