How do you recommend going about recovery in a situation where both spouses were unfaithful to one another prior to marriage? The betrayal during marriage wasn't a physical or emotional affair but instead lies. The wayward spouse kept sexual history a secret until the infidelity of this deception came to light nearly 4 years into marriage. Neither spouse healed from the betrayals they inflicted upon one another prior to marriage and the wayward is having a hard time taking on the sole role as the wayward. They are keeping their own resentments fully aside although they are trying very hard to take on the sole role of the wayward due to their lies within the marriage. It seems there aren't many people on Affair Recovery who have both been unfaithful and given the unique circumstance, it has been hard for us to meet one another's recovery needs.