Sometimes in anger, I said that maybe we should separate or that we needed to separate. Almost two months ago, he relapsed. He heard my pain and agony when he told me, and yet went back to her again two days later. In the immediate recovery, I mentioned, in anger, the separation thing. Now, we are almost two months from the relapse and I am sleeping in the bedroom downstairs. I asked him if I should come upstairs, we were intimate the night before, and he said he didn't know. He said he is still hurt and thrown by my mentioning separation in anger. I'm waiting for him in the bedroom downstairs. I’m stewing and feeling like a chump. Am I being selfish by throwing the separation thing out there? It hurts him more than he feels his affair and loving her hurt me. Do I keep waiting? Is he safe enough for me or should I leave because it is really all about him? I've really calmed down and been working on not saying anything about separating, but he is stuck there. Did I do this? Do I keep waiting? Will he ever get it?