My spouse forgot our first date and our first time together but remembers tons about the affair partner. He said if she had stronger feelings he would leave me and our daughter for her. He said he “puppy dog” loved her yet fantasized about being with her and divorcing me. He isn’t consistent with working on our marriage. He doesn’t pay attention to my wants or needs. If I shut down he doesn’t even notice. It’s been 9 months since discovery and we are so far away from each other. The affair partner is younger and thinner and I don’t feel he even finds me attractive anymore. I am scared he has more issues than we even know. I honestly don’t think he has ever actually loved me or cared about me. He went to bars, strip clubs, and checked out women all while lying to me. He said he felt like this affair was making him feel better and benefiting him by building his self esteem. How is cheating on your wife and wanting to leave your family making you better? Wouldn’t walking out on your family make you feel like crap just thinking about it?