Q&A How Important Is Attunement When Recovering from an Affair?

My unfaithful wife had an emotional and physical affair with a close relative of mine for nearly three years of our seven year marriage. My question is about attunement. I’ve read about attunement being a way to connect and heal, however, she says that he was just “over and above” attuned to hear as he pursued her. So now I feel as though I need to be hyper attuned like he was all the time while my pain is discounted. If attunement and emotional connection are so linked together how do I not come to the same conclusion as she did, thinking they were more right for each other?