We went to the EMS weekend. My husband, the unfaithful, who halfheartedly went, became offended and found his excuse for discounting everything and refusing to do anything to heal us. Should I continue to participate in the EMS aftercare? Should I share with him my homework? He agreed to wait until September to make any decisions but he regularly says how we aren't going to make it. He won't go for a trial separation because of his image. His son is here for the summer. I don't want a divorce for 3 reasons.

1. I had plans to become a single parent by foster adopting before marrying him. I don't want to miss out on every other weekend with my kids.
2. I see how hard it is for my stepson.
3. If I would die for my kids, then I should be able to die to my unforgiveness and anger towards him for their benefit.

So what do I do? He is so filled with shame and guilt that he has no hope. He utilizes methods of escape (i.e. substance abuse, gym, making plans with people he hardly knows, going to bars and movies alone, making sure any spare moment is filled, avoiding sleep. etc.) to avoid feelings. The kinder and more loving I am the angrier he becomes saying I'm too perfect and good for him. How do I respond? Is there any hope? What do I do?