Rick, I attended an EMS weekend recently as the unfaithful spouse. I was a prodigal wife with codependency on my husband of 26 years and as you labeled, "a FOBAD." – a fear of being a disappointment. His discovery day was July 12, 2015. I have completed my codependency twelve steps with a new found joy and contentment in the fact that I am forgiven, God is in control, and His love is enough. Unfortunately, I discovered Sunday night before we flew home from EMS that I am now the betrayed spouse. My discovery day was September 20, 2015. I am struggling with whether to listen to my local Christian counselor who now concludes that because I want to forgive my husband and reconcile for all the physical and emotional flooding he has done as well as his affair, and trust God to stay married, that I also exhibit signs of an emotionally battered wife so I should consider divorce. My husband has threatened divorce twice now, but where is scripture and faith in this? Our mentor couple says to lean into my husband and hang on and... contact you for advice! At peace in my pain