We are nearing our 3rd year DD anniversary. We've taken EMSO. I discovered a series of texts today on my husband's phone from a man that is an acquaintance, not a close friend a personal tone and invitations to get together. When I asked what the texts were about, my husband got defensive, rude, and told me he wasn't at liberty to tell me. We were celebrating a special occasion and had had a wonderful night until that moment. Apparently, this 3 time divorced guy was recently issued his 2nd DUI, and his life is blowing up. My husband learned of this while paired with him in a golf tournament a few days ago. Had I not found the texts, he would have kept this guy's secret and covered his tracks in getting together and it feels to me that his integrity or reputation means more to my husband than sharing with me this man's struggle. The 'secret keeping' is what has me off the rails. My husband thinks I'm over reacting and feels entitled to be supportive of others that reach out to him. . When he was acting out, he used "male bonding' type outings as an excuse to meet his AP. This reeks of triggers for me. What do you think? He is adamant that he is faithful and simply trying to help, but at the expense of transparency, I'm not on board.