We are a year out of the first D-Day and are working toward healing with a therapist. My husband of 28 years had a four year affair that devastated me. He ended it within weeks after I found out. He initially claimed he never loved her, and it was just sex a few times, but he called her every night from work to check on her and remembered little things like her birthday. After lying to me about the nature of the relationship for 8 months, he finally disclosed the truth about the affair at the urging of his alcohol therapist. He said he couldn't lie anymore. That was the second D-Day. It was 4 months ago. On that day, when I questioned him, he looked me in the eye and admitted that he loved her, "a little" and that they had sex about 2-3 times every month. When I was devastated, yet again, he quickly changed his tune, and said he didn't love her. But on that day, he said he loved her 6 times as well as denied he loved her 6 times. He chose me and our family, saying there was never any choice. However, I believe what he told me during D-Day number 2. I believe he loved her. Now, 4 months later, he says there's no way he ever loved that woman. He says he felt pressed to say he did because I was frantic for an answer. I don't know what to believe! Do you think he probably loved her? He said he lied to me for 8 months because he couldn't hurt me any more than he already had. I'm stuck on not knowing for sure. I need to know exactly what I'm forgiving. What's your experience with something like this?