My husband is a salesman and drives by places he acted out when going to and from work. He also travels past establishments that are inappropriate and notices new “adult” businesses when going to new prospect companies and does not share this information with me, which feels like withholding on my end. I am having difficulty with this feeling threatening to the relationship. What is the best way to build trust around these scenarios? I am looking for safety and trust building nuggets and behaviors from him. Lying, gaslighting and cheating has been present from the beginning of our 37 year relationship destroying trust. D-Day was 18 months ago. Building trust back has been a struggle with certain defensive behaviors popping up on from from time to time. I would like a healthy boundary around communication. I am looking for transparency from him and an acknowledgement that shows effort (words/deeds) in protecting the relationship. What does healthy transparency look and sound like? What questions do I need to ask him. What is healthy transparency? What are reasonable boundaries in this scenario?