Q&A What Happens If a Husband and Wife Differ on What Constitutes Out of Line Behavior?

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Question: 

My spouse’s definition of infidelity and sobriety differs from mine in some ways. I know some couples do not view certain activities as harmful or bad, but what happens if a husband and wife differ on what constitutes out of line behavior? I’m not sure if it makes a difference, but he is a SA and in treatment. He does not view masturbation as either a problem behavior or a form of infidelity, but I do. It hurts me to think that he feels it’s normal male behavior. Being neither a male nor someone who feels masturbation is a normal behavior, my views differ greatly from his. Given that this activity was also a part of his infidelity, it also triggers lots of warning signs for me. Please shed some light on this situation. How common is it, and how do we work through it?

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I would highly recommend giving this a try.
 
-D, Texas