Last contact with her AP was May 24,2016. Her affair was started in March 2014 emotional and went physical in April of 2015. 1st D-day was August 14 and OM finally broke contact September 24 her AP cut her off. She went back to contacting him After easter this year and from her mouth she has stated she is in limerence still. Things that seemed to be static or improving from June 19 to August when we lost our marriage coach to leukemia. She has felt since things are getting worse because she is missing the feelings of the affair and she has done nothing to prevent the rumination or deal with grief with her therapist. She says I can’t continue to feel this way. So she has set a mediation appointment . It feels like she is both feet out. Her parents and good friend has been supporting me and her to try to keep her head in the marriage and from going to OM but it is weighing heavy on her. Its the fantasy future she had cooked up for them that has her one or both feet out. I need to know what it is I should or shouldn't be doing. Stay away give space, or try to engage and talk about fun things or keep it to the business of the marriage? She has conceded that I have been great and it is her that needs to feel different.