Hi Rick, I need some clear defined feedback. My unfaithful husband (10 months since end of affair in all manners) googled and looked up the AP house on his phone (visual real estate site). He did this about 2 months ago, at work, without disclosing it to me. I found it when I looked through his phone, after I asked permission to check his phone. He then defended his action by stating he wanted to see if the AP moved, so he could stop worrying about running into her by himself or with us as a family. I believe that he chose his need to know, above disclosing the desire to look, act, and think about how it would appear if he hid the information, the trauma that it would inflict because it was done again behind my back. I was not involved in the decision. Such as.. "would it hurt you if I looked up the AP house to see if it was for sale". My answer would have been yes, that should have stopped him, and shown he was able to prevent a possible trigger and openness. By finding out through searching his phone that he hid it, sends me a strong clear message that he is not safe or transparent when he is at work. I actually believe that he did hope it was for sale, but also believe he went down memory lane which was a part of why he hid his action. It destroyed so much progress. When does transparency apply or not apply?