I learned early on from the Affair Recovery Library that it is normal to grieve and feel traumatized following the disclosure of an affair, but I'm just wondering at what point do you need to seek help from a doctor and/or therapist? I'm 4.5 months past D-Day, doing marriage counselling, about to start EMS Online and my husband is doing everything he can to make me feel safe. Although the intensity of those post D Day feelings are subsiding and no longer so all consuming nor debilitating, qe live in a small town and I'm subjected to a lot of reminders. I've started having some mild anxiety attacks, and I desperately wish we could just run away. I still have dark thoughts in low moments about death being a relief, although I do not plan to act upon them. I'm now just feeling very low in mood (something that started months before the disclosure of the affair as I was insecure and very aware of the threat my husband's "friendship" was to my marriage). Sometimes I want to cry but I can't and other times I find myself crying as I stroll round the grocery store. I'm not sure if all this is normal and to be expected or if I should be seeking extra help and medication for it.