In your article Ending an Affair: Letting Go and Moving On, you said, "If you have not come to the point where you see as many negatives with your affair partner as you do with your mate, then you're most likely still in denial." I wanted to ask whether you could please look at this in more detail. It's a year after D-Day, and I long to hear that my unfaithful husband has reached a point where he's able to look at the affair partners, hookers in our case, with some sort of a critical eye. He was able to focus on my qualities with a negative eye, sufficient to build quite benign characteristics into marriage-destroying resentments. Why can't he do the same for the affair partner? It seems obvious enough to me what her flaws are likely to be. I realize she will have had some good points. It's a real sticking point for me because it makes me feel like he still holds her on a pedestal.