I borrowed these words from another woman who posted in your article called "The fight to forgive". She expressed my feelings so well that I decided to borrow most of her words: "I understand forgiveness is imperative to a free life whether in or beyond the relationship. The question I have is why is it a better idea for ME to put ALL of this effort and time and pain into my husband who has so completely disregarded, undervalued and damaged me and our relationship? Why not simply start a new, clean, worthwhile life? Whether with another partner, or just on my own? Why not give myself the gift of love and embrace a pure and healthy, unburdened, happy life with someone else, or on my own? I want for myself a life without triggers, without this man who betrays me, without this man who is now covered in the hand prints of other women. I want a man who makes good character decisions and wouldn't hurt me by lying, immorality, deceit. Don't I deserve that, or in its absence a life of love and trust with good friends who wouldn't hurt me? Why would I want to live in a marriage where there will always be such a sad and damaging background noise. Why?"