Rick, We are 2 years out from Dday/ 1 full year from the affair ending completely. We have both done EMSweekend,HH,H4H, and EMDR for the trauma. Although it has all helped , it has helped the unfaithful spouse more (in a sense of returning to the family and really looking at his own behaviors, his own self, and his responsibilities towards the type of person he wants to be)- yet it has caused me ( the betrayed) to feel more distant and detached than closer to him. I cannot seem to look at him other than as an outsider might; this is a guy who cheated on his pregnant wife, and lied to his kids and wife, trickle truthed almost an entire year. When has enough time gone by to accept that my feelings haven't returned? That I most likely will hold a wall of distance from him- not only to protect myself, but also that it just doesn't hurt as much anymore, because I don't feel much for him anymore. Is this a normal part of the damage from his affair? Married 23 years/ affair lasted 3 years - during the 18-21 years of marriage.