14 months post d-day. My husband is in Hope for Healing. I am in Harboring Hope. EVERYDAY he is sarcastic, belittling, blaming, etc. No remorse, empathy, apology - nothing to help minimize my pain. I try not to blame shift, but I do. He tried to talk about marital issues before he started his 18 month affair; a major issue for me because I proposed we read The Five Love Languages for a year, he always agreed, but never executed -, always an excuse for not doing it (common issue - he promises, does not keep his word, and blames when disappointment is expressed). I find it perplexing that he wants to talk about marital issues pre-affair when he chose to not engage in reading a book. I understand there is a process for both; but considering the Hope for Healing curriculum, when should I expect to see a shift in attitude? After his last group call he was hostile, yelling about ALL of the participants having wives who are nagging, unappreciative, (expletive), (expletive)s. He is seeing a therapist, but I'm not sure what they are working on. The anger, lack of remorse, blaming...ALL seem to be increasing. I am FULLY aware I can’t help him "get it" and none of the work he is doing thus far are 'taking him to the woodshed' - would the weekend retreat be helpful for a situation like this? Thank you for your dedication to helping people with this nightmare.