This was an amazing article that has alot of insiteful information. I believe it would be beneficial for couples to read these to protect their marriage. Thank you.

" Curiosity, I was thinking about curiosity," I replied. I'll tell you more about it later once I figure it out.

I would like to know more about the conversation that you had with your wife after you identified your curiosity.
How much detail did you go into? What are/were your boundaries to protect you and your wife for that conversation?
Thanks

This worries me because my husband “guarantees” he will never stray again after contacting an old lover and starting an emotional affair. My follow up question is always, “Is that confidence or arrogance? Did you ever think you would do what you did when we got married?” He has enormous curiosity and a lack of self awareness and how his actions come across to others.

This is me. I'm always seeking outside validation. I know it stems from my childhood. How do I change? I need more info on this topic.

I read this article & feel like it is touching on a perspective that we all could benefit from. It sounds like Rick is speaking in IFS (Internal Family Systems) language- which is an amazing technique to learn more about one's vunerable/wounded parts. My husband & I actually were introduced to IFS through AR when we were meeting together with Wayne during our EMS weekend. That kicked off a trajectory of self discovery on both our parts (my husband & myeself) that has benefited us then (a difficult & trying time) and continues to benefit us presently. Would love to hear what more you have to speak on this Rick. I can't help but think everyone- not just those brought to AR becuase of a crisis with infidelity- would benefit from parts work with IFS.

You and your organization literally saved my life 3 years ago. I could have rested in that experience and knowledge.
Now.
This.
It is was so new, very insightful and extremely helpful.
Thank you will always fall short...but from the bottom of my healing heart...thank you.

So helpful and insightful. I recall at some point thinking that I guess I could only get away with this because NO one would EVER think I could or would do something like this. I never cheated on any boyfriend, EVER. I simply was NOT that person. I recall saying to friends years prior, who in the world has the time or energy for an "affair?!" I was above reproach. It was flat out something that I would NEVER do. While my my marital relationship was sinking, and I couldn't name my mild depression around my husband, therefore i saw ZERO warning signs when i ran into an ex-boyfriend all the way back from HS & college. So, although suddenly flying high, I didn't think much of exchanging numbers, having a meal. having a drink, talking on the phone, I mean, we're not living near each other, so what's the problem here?. No alarm bells, AT ALL. Someone turned on the happiness light again. This was, well, a good thing. Not even any real concern that I seemed to be living, waiting for a text or call. Distancing myself further and further from my husband. Like they all say, it was a drug. Even when plans were made to see each other, i justified it. We're old friends and he listens and makes me laugh, we'll just enjoy each other's company, no big deal. I think with most women, it always starts as an emotional affair. We are wired differently and that "connection" as i used to say, is what opens the door to doing something I never thought I could do. Unfortunately, the marriage did not survive, but neither did the AP. I wish I could have seen more warning signs. Maybe it would not have saved the marriage, but it would have saved me years of torturing myself with guilt and profound regret.