This week, my team and I are incredibly honored to share part one of a two part guest post series from our friend and fellow pioneer in caring for couples in crisis, Cindy Beall¹. Cindy is a fantastic writer, speaker and mentor of women who are on their own journey of healing from the effects of infidelity. Her first book Healing Your Marriage When Trust Is Broken, was released in 2011 and has been a wonderful source of encouragement and hope to many. We are priviledged to have Cindy as the keynote speaker for our first annual Hope Rising One-Day Conference for betrayed spouse's coming up in October.

Hope:

An expectation of obtainment. To expect with confidence.

Everybody hopes for something. In something. It’s as natural as breathing.

I hoped that one day I’d find my knight in shining armor. I didn’t know when he’d arrive on my doorstep so while I waited for him, I made a list of things that I desired to find in my future husband.

Tall. Musical. Loves Jesus. Sensitive. Funny. Respectable. Admirable. Honest. Trusting. Protecting. Handsome.

I hoped for a lot.

Finally, he found me. And I found him. We were smitten with each other from our very first date at Chili’s in Austin, Texas. Apparently, he liked me so much that, unbeknownst to me, he put a down payment on my wedding ring the next day. And ten months later, I got a new last name.

American author Catherine Marshall said,

"God is the only one who can make the valley of trouble a door of hope."

I had no idea how applicable this quote would be in my life one day. Nine years into our marriage, everything crumbled. Actually, it crumbled before that, I just didn’t know it. I’d come to find out that for a period of about two and a half years, my pastor-husband, Chris, acted out on his very sordid addiction to pornography and committed multiple acts of infidelity including a pregnancy from one of the women. The day he confessed all of this to me was the worst day of my life. I came to realize that it was just the first of many worst days of my life.

My marriage died. So did my hope.

I had already allowed my mind to go down the single mother path. I didn’t want to be divorced or raise my young son alone, but the alternative...staying married to a man who’d absolutely destroyed my heart, my trust and our marriage....was something I was just not sure I could do.

I begged God to heal my very devastated heart. I was desperate for my pain to subside even just for a few moments. Although there was a huge part of me that just wanted to just cut my losses and hit the road, there was still this inner voice that kept asking,

"What does God want you to do?"

For several days I cried out to God, asking Him to give me a promise to believe in and stand on. I knew then, even in the pit of my despair, that I needed to be grounded in whatever decision I made. No matter which way my marriage went, there would be tumultuous storms coming my direction which would test my resilience in every way possible.

He spoke to me through a very unlikely, minor prophet named Habakkuk:

"For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay." (Hab 2:3, NIV)

That verse may not mean anything to you but it means the world to me. It's the very promise I needed from God as I was contemplating my future. After this promise was confirmed to me by two unsuspecting individuals on the same day, I heard God whisper this hope to my heart:

I know you don't understand what I am asking of you. I know you don't think anything good can come from this situation. But I need to you trust me. And one day, you will see all that I am doing and how I am working this for your good and My glory.

So I stayed.

Are you faced with the same life changing decisions? Perhaps you’ve already made your decision and have no idea how to walk it out? The question we hear more often than any other is, "What now?"

We want to invite you to Hope Rising, a one day conference for betrayed spouses, Saturday, October 6th from 9:00 AM - 4:30 PM in Austin, TX. Registration opens today and space is limited. We expect the Austin event to sell out and are offering a live-streaming option. Make plans now to join us as we hear from Cindy, our Affair Recovery team of experts and other survivors who are thriving.

¹Cindy Beall is a writer, speaker and mentor to women. She enjoys watching college football, hanging out with her sons, and sitting on her back porch with her husband, Chris. The Beall’s have been married since 1993 and have spent most of their marriage in full-time ministry. They have three sons between them which means there is very little pink in their home but a plethora of airsoft guns and camouflage. Cindy serves alongside her husband Chris at Life.Church, one of the nation's largest churches. Her first book, Healing Your Marriage When Trust Is Broken, released in 2011. Her second book Rebuilding a Marriage Better than New was released in 2016.
cindybeall.com